That was embarassing. No. It was mortifying. Beyond mortifying. I have no words for what it was. Thank g-d it was a religiously Catholic hospital, so I was spared some embarassment. But, not much.
Oh, yeah (manic grin) today was my second VCUG. I would rather have a DOZEN teeth drilled, both my knees filled with saline, and break the ligament in my ankle again before doing another VCUG. EVER.
At least they let me bring my knitting in with me, and they gave me a toy duck plushie to squeeze. It didn’t help, at all. Okay, it did with the prep. But, after 10 years worth of UTI’s and kidney infections, my urethra is veryvery sensitive. I did relax, and made it to the point where I was supposed to “void”. Hahaha, great word.
So, they now have this moving table thing, so that you don’t have to try urinating while lying flat on a table in front of a half dozen people. Fun, eh? The table stands at an angle, so you can pretend. Right.
I was doing fine, and then I fainted.
No, I am not joking. The stress, standing wearing only a hospital gown in front of several people, and being told to “go whenever”, while my mom told us her version of the Hag, the Healer and the mimbulus mimlbetonia (no, I swear to g-d, I am not joking) – it all conspired against me. I woke up on the floor because they had shoved a package of smelling salts under my nose (major eugh!). It’s very strange to wake up that way. I even had a dream while I was out. Which was a first.
I faint commonly. My Dad’s family is rife with it. My blood pressure averages at 90/60 – and that was after they had me run up and down 3 flights of stairs at the Health Center. When I stand quickly, I get dizzy. So, stress, yeah – it can cause me to faint. So can pain, physical discomfort, and low blood-sugar.
So, apparently, I was saved from major brain damage (since the table was like 2 feet off of the floor which I was standing on when I fell) by my mother. She’s used to my fainting spells. She saw my head slip and dove (throwing out her neck, thank you mommy!) to break my fall. Both the very handsome young med tech and nurse freaked. They’d never seen someone faint before. It was a learning day for all. Woohoo. So glad to be of assistance.
So, I woke up because of the smelling salts and wet towels they’d placed everywhere on me. The nurse was running around frantically for different supplies, my mum was checking my pulse (she IS a nurse) and the handsome-young-med-tech was holding my legs up in the air.
Backless gown, y’all.
Like I said, mortifying.
The rest of the procedure wasn’t as exciting. I couldn’t finish it, wonder why? But, they said that was common and that the procedure had changed. The medical standard has changed from when I was a child and they held me down, fun. Bastards. My mum jokes that the doctors had studied at the Marquis de Sade’s School of Medicine, who invented it.
Personally, I blame the Nazis.
Anyway. So, yeah. That was fun. I found out that half of the stitches on my knitting that I’d brought (a bag to felt) had slipped off of the needles – probably about the same time I slipped off of the table. Sympathetic knitting, I like that.
So, when we were leaving they tried to make me go out in a wheelchair. No, thank you. It’s very strange, but I’ve been having dizzy spells all day. I don’t know why. Just am. I think it’s because one of my meds has changed. I need to talk to my doctor about it.
But, I should get to the more interesting part of this post – the pictures! No, I did not take any of the VCUG, I am not a masochist. Here are some absolutely fascinating photos from yesterday’s weaving class… Of Emmos setting up her loom (my loom is in front, only way I could catch her at first), then her threading, then her helping me wind my warp on, and her demonstrating the proper way to do a Cat’s Claw.