I’m posting to keep from freaking out. OM DEAR G. As I was getting ready for bed (I couldn’t have fallen asleep earlier, the workmen left at 1am), I looked up (like Sunflowerfairy, I check the ceiling every night for spiders) and saw a big nasty one. Because it was 2:30, I decided to be an adult (and not wake my brother up to kill it for me) and dealt with it myself.

Feeling proud for not shrieking like a banesidhe (banshee) when it ran at me, I went to brush my teeth. I then saw another one hiding behind my stash bins. I killed it, and then stilled. It was like one of those horror movie moments, when the character realises that they’re in trouble.

Previous experience dictates that spiders come in threes – if I see a second one in the same night, a third will be sure to follow in short order. I swear, honest to Hashem, they always do.

I took deep, yoga, breaths and told myself that it would be fine. I brushed my teeth and opened the shower door (a weird habit I picked up in Italy – I always shower at night), and because I am not a masochist I looked inside the shower before stepping in – my heart stopped – there on the floor was FREAKING HUGE DEAD 8-LEGGED spider. I shuddered, managed not to scream, slammed the door shut, got dressed, and decided that posting just might save my sanity.

So, here I am, trying to calm the hell down. I know from previous experience that I won’t be able to sleep for a while. I also won’t be able to take a shower until I bribe my brother to dispose of it (yes, for some reason, the dead ones scare me as much as the live ones).

EWW EWW EWW EWW, is all I can say.

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