It just plain sucks. During a routine eye exam on Tuesday, we found out that Emm’s right retina was detached and his left one was beginning to show micro-tears. He went in for emergency surgery less than 12 hours later and the doctor’s worst prognosis was confirmed. Both of Emm’s eyes had to be pulled from their sockets, reshaped and his retinas reattached by laser-surgery.
He’s been recovering, slowly, since.
My father’s retinas (both of them) detached multiple times when Emm and I were children. No one was expecting this to happen to Emm, much less when he was 20. My mum admitted to me something I’ve been thinking for years now, “I’ve always been afraid this would happen to you.”
Since I have the best eye-hand coordination in the family, I’ve been helping dress his eyes and administer his eyedrops. The first time I changed his dressings, I should have gotten an award for not screaming. Dad could clearly see my horror, but we didn’t want Emm to know what his face and eyes look like.
The whole situation is surreal and hard to comprehend.
Between the family crisis and work, the house has fallen into complete chaos:
And I really can’t bring myself to care. I even wore jeans and a t-shirt to work the other day, just because I was too tired to do laundry and iron. What I have been doing is knitting at my anxiety (Mum’s been eating at hers and Dad’s been pacing like a captive tiger).
Emm had been bugging me for another knit cap like the one I made him for his birthday last year. For a couple of days I rifled through my stash before admitting defeat – how it is even remotely possible that I didn’t have something suitable still perplexes me. So, yesterday, I bought two balls of Rowan Wool Cotton and swatched while I waited for the MAX:
I have a design and a plan, so maybe there’ll be a finished hat around here in a day or so.
Honest to goodness, I don’t even know where to go with this post. I wanted to explain where I’ve been and why I haven’t responded to emails for a week now, but … it’s all so exhausting. I’ve been leaving work early every day this week, and I still can’t get everything done.
I’m scheduled to go in next week to the Casey Eye Institute and get my eyes examined. Apparently there’s some concern this may be a genetic condition. I have my doubts, but that’s no reason to be foolish.
That’s my situation in a nutshell. Obviously, I’m the person suffering the least, and I know it. But it still really sucks. And, although it’s really wrong of me to do this, I’m going to ignore my inbox for a little while longer and take a nap. I got to give Emm both his midnight and 8 am eyedrops, so right now a little sleep is sounding really really good right now.